Celebrity Matches Time to diverge from the usual hard-hitting stories that push "The Pages of Euphoria" to the forefront of credible, heterosexual, interesting, and all around dope-ass story telling. So I was sitting there on the Chalcedony Pad's salmon colored leather couch, stewing in thought after watching 60 minutes and the feat of human longevity that is Andy Rooney. I personally think the man hurls bolts of literary-style lightning with voice to match, but I also feel that if he turns his head too fast his upper lip just might fall off. That's another story though.

After getting my 60 minutes fix, I started to veg out to Sportscenter. The current highlight on the program was showcasing Chauncey Billups of the Denver Nuggets NBA basketball team. I sat watching with no particular interest until an epiphany struck. I SERIOUSLY KNOW THIS GUY. I have seen his face, shook his hand, drained beers with him, and played on the same play-money kraps table. The weird thing is he's white.

As I looked at Chauncey's mug it slowly became clear that my San Diego buddy Curtis Buono was the "yang" to Chauncey's "yin." I shared this thought with fellow Chalcedony Boy Alex whose immediate hearty laughter revealed agreement. You be the judge. While they are both athletically dominant athletic figures with Chauncey conquering the court and Curt owning the vertical cliff face, Curt kicks the shit out of Chauncey in one important area. Who has a cooler name. How can a parent call their male child Chauncey. Why not save the mystery and just call him Sue.

ps. As I may be putting Curt in an uncomfortable position, I will do the same to myself.  ¶ 8:54 PM 0 comments