Pages of Euphoria
Friday, May 02, 2008
  New York, New York
A trip already achieving the status of an instant classic; like a 21 year old Jack Nicholson. Maybe its the music playing that's causing my nostalgia for the times and experiences only just had a week ago. Maybe it was just one of those experiences that had the perfect blend of personalities, alcohol, captain crunch, nudity, offensiveness, and friendship. Add to that a backdrop consisting of little old New York City, the greatest fucking city in the world (12% Jewish).
Parker Montgomery (White Ghost) and myself Joseph Greenberg (Wolfman) decided to visit our bushy browed and outspoken friend Elija Sonkin (Huge Jew), who is currently living on 1st ave and 13th street in the east side of Manhattan. We ascended the subway steps off of the L train to enjoy the caress of sublime sunshine. It felt good, the air was city fresh, and I had already been verbally accosted by some impatient woman whose parents clearly did not love her and whose look screamed sexual frustration from a bullhorn. God bless NYC. I was immediately struck by the scene of this small portion of Manhattan...its' electricity. I saw it in the ass tight jeans and vintage T's, in the sleeve tattoos and skateboards. I felt it in the way people walked and talked, the way they looked you in the eye, (in stark contrast to the Northwest where eye contact is usually averted and saying hello to a stranger is inappropriate). Basically everyone in Eli's neighborhood was a raging hipster, with enough style points to make Andrew Waits swoon. I came to find this electricity was generally reflected and conducted everywhere in NYC.
Allow me to digress for a moment. To those of you who are Eli curious/concerned/conscious, the guy is doing good. He is dropping an obscene amount of rent money for one bedroom in a 3 bedroom apartment, somehow staying fiscally afloat. He shares the living space with two other lads, one very cool individual named Phil, and one very out of touch Brian who gives their otherwise nice apartment the feel of a cesspool. While Phil (a bartender) showed us to the fruits of an open bar our first night, Brian treated us to the smell of his feet, his round the clock abuse of drugs, and his overall lack of decency. The presence of someone has never repulsed me in such a way. The Pages of Euphoria are not intended to slam, or focus on the negative (if only to provide poetic description), so I will not linger on that topic of disgust. Eli continues to surround himself with a cast of colorful characters to say the least. Oh yeah, this is his current romantic interest, found through the vessel of a Jewish dating service. In a drunken 4am stupor I managed to desecrate her lacey white shirt that cost almost as much as my plane ticket with a red creamy Indian sauce. We have since become facebook chums. Jamie, you have officially arrived.

Of the thousands of things to do and see in New York City, Parker and I accomplished only a few; but a select few that I remember fondly. After being separated in the subway system because Parker decided to hop on a train as the doors were closing, severing me like a newborn from its placenta, we were able to miraculously meet back up in Time Square. Without the use of our cell phones, true story. Times Square leaves me feeling uneasy. On its surface, it is an astounding testament to mans' ability to build unnatural things. I feel like Times Square should be included in the definition of meg·a·lo·ma·ni·a:
1. A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.

2. An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions. See Times Square.

What other place has a 3 level shopping store (whose designers were clearly on LSD) solely dedicated to the chocolate candy M n M's. Other NYC dopeness consisted of making it on my favorite show, Late Night With Conan Obrien, and it came at a cost; though not in dollars. I went to bed Monday morning (4/28) at 2am, to rise at 6am so that I could get to NBC studios at 30 Rockefeller Center at 7am, only to wait in the cold and wet for 2 hours. And of course, seeing Conan was worth it and made my month...as I truly have a heart felt love for him. The speed and ferocity of his comic wit, and his childlike zest for life are both things that I try to emulate every day.
Being an adult yet keeping childlike excitement and or the ability to gracefully pull off being immature is something that I value. For example, while getting dessert with Eli, Jamie (Jdate flame) and her friend Bonita Applebaum, our excess marshmallows provided the perfect setting to play the game Chubby Bunny. If you haven't played this game in 24 hours or 24 months, just play it, especially in a public place, I guarantee big laughs. Of course I destroyed my opposition packing in 7 marshmallows while still being able to eloquently pronounce the words Chubby Bunny without activating my gag reflex. My mouth is apparently cavernous, and its a shame I'm not gay. My prize for winning was a personalized tour of the Brooklyn Promenade, a boardwalk of sorts with a breathtaking and intoxicating view of Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty, and the Manhattan skyline. The skyline was not unlike rows of jagged metal teeth in a yawning skull, glinting with electrical light. It was truly an incredible sight. And it was that sight amongst others that I was revisiting in my head on the flight back home. A New Yorker told me that you visit the big city of dreams once, and you will most definitely come away with a story to tell. I know now he spoke with wisdom, as even though I did not buy material souvenirs, I still came home with a trove of gems.
ps. P, my most esteemed travel partner, lets plan the next destination.


 
Comments:
This is just what I was hoping to see. Your blog is gooder worded than mine. Your descriptions have the fresh stench of Brian's feet wafting from my monitor. I'll direct some traffic this way.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Excellent narrative my friend.

(ps i deleted my first attept at this comment due to a typographical error)
 
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I come from a small town north of Seattle, WA, where I learned that rain is a magical thing because it turns things green. I have had the chance to go a few places and see a few things of which all I have are pictures, memories and stories. I am currently living and learning about Los Angeles, California, and what it means to be an Angelino.

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